Ever wondered about what are you looking for in this life? Or perhaps what do you want to achieve in life by the end of the day? I believe that these questions have ever crossed your mind -definitely not only once..
I often wondered about this and eventually asked myself: what exactly am I looking for in life.. Is it success? glory? wealth? happiness? family? salvation? Happiness is perhaps too generic to define. Again, I asked myself, what leads to happy life? what will bring happiness to me?
The young-naive me emphasized heavily on success and fame. Being raised up in a family with a nu qiang ren mom, I idolized and once hoped to be like my mom. Back then, I regard my mom as a successful capable woman. I aimed to surpass her capability and success.. That was during my teenage days..
However, I began to view things in different ways after my mom's death. Her death was itself a misfortune to my family, and yet there were more to come. Throughout these four enriching years, I came to learn that there are more to life than success, fame and wealth..
True enough, we're living in realistic world. I honestly admit that I do have a certain expectation of portrait of my future. This is my way of thanking my parents for raising me up and providing me with good educations. I want to show them that their efforts are not gone to waste :p
But again -back to the main topic -what is it exactly that I want to have in life? I guess it's something that I need to ponder upon..
My cousin lost her dad when she was 16. Her mom was too weak to face the fact and thus ran away from reality for 5years, grieving upon her husband's death. This situation forced my cousin to take charge of the household administrations and carry a responsibility beyond what a normal 16years old teenage could ever imagined. Life wasn't easy for her back then.
This experience turned her into a strong career woman. She became a highly self-disciplined person with strong leadership skill. Her works are always excellent as she's very careful and focus in everything that she does. Once you pass a task to her, you can rest assured that everything is taken care of.
One day, I asked my cousin about what she's looking for in life. I made few guesses between success and fame, or perhaps family. However, her answer was far than what I could think of. She told me that she is looking for a togetherness. When I asked for the definition, she explained how she viewed her career as a mere tool of providing bread to the family. Climbing corporate ladder is not her main goal as she wishes to spend more time with her family -mom, husband and children..
She shared with me her dreams of having a happy family with her mom around, living a peaceful life with good health. She expressed how she hopes to raise her children and provide them with necessary guidance throughout their lives -as a child, teenage or adult.. and etc..
Her answer strucked me in awe and kept me speechless for a moment. All I did, in the end, was nodding in admiration and gave her my blessing. Her aim in life was so simple and yet so beautiful..
Currently, I am still in the midst of looking for the answer; and I'm confident that I'd come across it one day.. Perhaps then I'd share with you all, my dear friends, my view of life..
Friday, August 26, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Socializing Days
These few days I have been spending my time dating and socializing... My post today basically covers the review of the meal that I've been savouring for the past two days :p Sinful indeed.. I need a strict diet!!!
Met up with Andrew, Yong Han and Sonny yesterday for a dinner at Ambush, a pasta place located at Takashimaya Food Court. All of us enjoyed our orders except Sonny for making the wrong choice of meatball pasta. The meatball actually tastes like ngo hiong! All in all, the food was alright, though I prefer CPK's pasta. I guess it's just a different type of pasta with CPK being more asian..
Today I had a sumptuous dimsum brunch at Crystal Jade Kitchen in Takashimaya with James. It was sumptuous because we actually ordered enough for four people share!! Okay perhaps it's an exaggeration but the food was too much for us alone to finish. I felt bad having to waste food while James kept on convincing me that being a good host, he must make sure that everyone has their share of meal and the leftover food on the table serves to ensure that everyone is full -_-" What a theory..
Dinner was with Ivan at News Asia Bar. The popular item is the pizza. We had a spicy seafood and tuna pizza with spiced fries, both in my recommendation list :) It is comparable to Wala's pizza with more generous serving. Ambience was great for socializing with magnificent view of Singapore nightlife. Music wasn't too loud thus conversation was still audible. Most of the customers are blondes though, so be prepared to meet a lot of foreigners there..
Me and Ivan @ News Asia Bar
Anyway, I had a wonderful sharing session with good dining experience today. I know Ivan through JAC back then during my uni days. He was the president of the club when I first enrolled into the club. Back then, he has displayed a powerful leadership skill and strong determination. I knew all along that he's one of those who'd make in life. However, I was surprised when he shared with me his goal and dream. His ambition was far beyond my thought..
Graduated with third class honours, he got his first job with P&G as Sales and Development Manager with the highest salary during his batch. I shall say that a degree can only bring you so far, in the end everything depends on you yourself. Moreover, he sent out 70+ resumes before he landed with this rewarding job.
So for those who's looking for a job now, perhaps you graduate with third class honours or higher, more likely you have sent out more than 50 resumes with no replies (as market is real bad now), don't be discouraged! The opportunity is out there for you.. All you need is just courage, determination and perhaps luck too :p
Met up with Andrew, Yong Han and Sonny yesterday for a dinner at Ambush, a pasta place located at Takashimaya Food Court. All of us enjoyed our orders except Sonny for making the wrong choice of meatball pasta. The meatball actually tastes like ngo hiong! All in all, the food was alright, though I prefer CPK's pasta. I guess it's just a different type of pasta with CPK being more asian..
Today I had a sumptuous dimsum brunch at Crystal Jade Kitchen in Takashimaya with James. It was sumptuous because we actually ordered enough for four people share!! Okay perhaps it's an exaggeration but the food was too much for us alone to finish. I felt bad having to waste food while James kept on convincing me that being a good host, he must make sure that everyone has their share of meal and the leftover food on the table serves to ensure that everyone is full -_-" What a theory..
Dinner was with Ivan at News Asia Bar. The popular item is the pizza. We had a spicy seafood and tuna pizza with spiced fries, both in my recommendation list :) It is comparable to Wala's pizza with more generous serving. Ambience was great for socializing with magnificent view of Singapore nightlife. Music wasn't too loud thus conversation was still audible. Most of the customers are blondes though, so be prepared to meet a lot of foreigners there..
Me and Ivan @ News Asia Bar
Anyway, I had a wonderful sharing session with good dining experience today. I know Ivan through JAC back then during my uni days. He was the president of the club when I first enrolled into the club. Back then, he has displayed a powerful leadership skill and strong determination. I knew all along that he's one of those who'd make in life. However, I was surprised when he shared with me his goal and dream. His ambition was far beyond my thought..
Graduated with third class honours, he got his first job with P&G as Sales and Development Manager with the highest salary during his batch. I shall say that a degree can only bring you so far, in the end everything depends on you yourself. Moreover, he sent out 70+ resumes before he landed with this rewarding job.
So for those who's looking for a job now, perhaps you graduate with third class honours or higher, more likely you have sent out more than 50 resumes with no replies (as market is real bad now), don't be discouraged! The opportunity is out there for you.. All you need is just courage, determination and perhaps luck too :p
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Ronald's Blog
I guess everyone has to surrender to the raging blogging trend, and that doesn't exclude Ronald! bwahahhahaha *evil laughter..
When I first started blogging, he was surprised and was pretty against it. Okay.. perhaps against was too strong as a word.. However, he found reading a blog is a waste of time, not to mention writing one. I had to endure so many series of lecture about how one can actually spend his/her time wisely by exercising, reading books, sourcing for information through the net, relaxing through games etc, anything other than blogging..
Nevertheless, I continued my blog as a means to update my friends on my activities :) He, eventually, spared his time to read my blog and learnt about my activities throughout.. To me, it's a good improvement I guess, knowing he was so negative about blogging..
However, as time goes by, perhaps by seeing how blog has emerged as a trend, Ronald now has a BLOG!!! *bwahahhahahah.. miracle does happen! :p
Anyway, I'm going to be an angel by sharing to you all his newly created and decorated blog ;) It's a blog full of information on geeky stuff such as books, computers, IT, investments etc. So for those who wish to enrich your knowledge, find out what you can learn there ;) Just click on the title, it's linked to the blog :)
Ronald, you have to thank me for promoting your blog! A decent meal would be sufficient ;)
When I first started blogging, he was surprised and was pretty against it. Okay.. perhaps against was too strong as a word.. However, he found reading a blog is a waste of time, not to mention writing one. I had to endure so many series of lecture about how one can actually spend his/her time wisely by exercising, reading books, sourcing for information through the net, relaxing through games etc, anything other than blogging..
Nevertheless, I continued my blog as a means to update my friends on my activities :) He, eventually, spared his time to read my blog and learnt about my activities throughout.. To me, it's a good improvement I guess, knowing he was so negative about blogging..
However, as time goes by, perhaps by seeing how blog has emerged as a trend, Ronald now has a BLOG!!! *bwahahhahahah.. miracle does happen! :p
Anyway, I'm going to be an angel by sharing to you all his newly created and decorated blog ;) It's a blog full of information on geeky stuff such as books, computers, IT, investments etc. So for those who wish to enrich your knowledge, find out what you can learn there ;) Just click on the title, it's linked to the blog :)
Ronald, you have to thank me for promoting your blog! A decent meal would be sufficient ;)
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Sending Off My Bro
Yo Bro, I know this is too late. But as the saying goes 'it's better to be late than never'. You should forgive me for the putting this up so late -it's only 2weeks cmon :p
Look at my bro's new hairstyle! Jay Chou impersonating he is! *bwahahhaha* evil laugh
Monday, August 22, 2005
Happy Birthday Pa
Today's my dear old pop's birthday. Wished him happy birthday and may he find a new spring soon. I often wonder if there'd ever be a new woman in his life. It ain't easy to find 'someone' at his age I guess.. It'd be good though if you can ever found one, perhaps for the sake of companionship..
Finally I'm done with the administrations. Collected my visa and settled my banker's guarantee. I'm left with approval from MOE which I'm expecting in 2-3days and flight ticket.. Still trying to confirm the departure date with my friend.. *haiz.
Had a pretty long day today. Started my day with a list of places I had to run -Embassy, Banks, UOB. Ended my day in Chinatown for KTV and dinner with my friends. As usual, Tanu and Ronald are real energetic during the KTV. KTV is always fun with them around.. hahahaha.. It was one great outing I shall say :)
It's really difficult to catch up with friends once we started working. You have company outing, friend's birthday, farewell, dates, appointments etc. I count myself lucky to be able to have the outing yesterday. Tanu is really one helluva busy person -and he's not even employed YET!
Anyway, I'm having this irresistible cravings for dimsum lately. Been hunting for good places for dimsum. Yesterday I had dimsum lunch in Chinatown at a homemade Cantonese dimsum restaurant called 'De Ji' if I'm not mistaken. It's located at the other end of Food Street, just next to Yum Cha restaurant, opposite Dong Fang restaurant.
They serve pretty nice dishes although lack of variations. Siew may and prawn mushroom dumpling are at the top of my recommendation list. I didn't know that banana and prawn go well together until I tried their banana & prawn dragon beard. The fong zaw was alright, perhaps bland for my tastebud and DON'T get the lo mai gai! Pricing was fine, with range of $2.50-$3.00 per serving. No service charge indeed ;)
Still looking for good place for dimsum though. Recommendations anyone?
Finally I'm done with the administrations. Collected my visa and settled my banker's guarantee. I'm left with approval from MOE which I'm expecting in 2-3days and flight ticket.. Still trying to confirm the departure date with my friend.. *haiz.
Had a pretty long day today. Started my day with a list of places I had to run -Embassy, Banks, UOB. Ended my day in Chinatown for KTV and dinner with my friends. As usual, Tanu and Ronald are real energetic during the KTV. KTV is always fun with them around.. hahahaha.. It was one great outing I shall say :)
It's really difficult to catch up with friends once we started working. You have company outing, friend's birthday, farewell, dates, appointments etc. I count myself lucky to be able to have the outing yesterday. Tanu is really one helluva busy person -and he's not even employed YET!
Anyway, I'm having this irresistible cravings for dimsum lately. Been hunting for good places for dimsum. Yesterday I had dimsum lunch in Chinatown at a homemade Cantonese dimsum restaurant called 'De Ji' if I'm not mistaken. It's located at the other end of Food Street, just next to Yum Cha restaurant, opposite Dong Fang restaurant.
They serve pretty nice dishes although lack of variations. Siew may and prawn mushroom dumpling are at the top of my recommendation list. I didn't know that banana and prawn go well together until I tried their banana & prawn dragon beard. The fong zaw was alright, perhaps bland for my tastebud and DON'T get the lo mai gai! Pricing was fine, with range of $2.50-$3.00 per serving. No service charge indeed ;)
Still looking for good place for dimsum though. Recommendations anyone?
Sunday, August 21, 2005
D-Day
Now I know the reason behind my sluggishness for the past few days. It's the time of the month! That explains my short-temper, appetite, lethargy and mood swing! ArGhHHhhhh!!! I hate these period.. The trouble that I have to go through.. The pain that it caused.. The blood shed.. Why we, females, have to suffer from these? Why is it there in the first place?!
Today I had to cancel two appointments due to the cramp! My body just didn't feel right. Be it standing, sitting, lying, crouching, the pain is just there!! It's been long since my last cramp I guess (or perhaps I depend on pills too much). Thanks to James' mom though for the hotbod that she just bought. It really helps relieving the pain.. I felt much better soon..
In case you're wondering what a hotbod is, it's a pillow filled up with wheat beans for therapeutic purpose. It can be used both cold and hot to relieve pain, headache etc. Just put it in the microwave for 30secs for hot effect and fridge for cold effect :) Nowadays it comes with different types of scent and shape.. The on that I'm using now is honeysuckle :)
Come to think about it, I should get one in Shanghai. It'd be useful for winter or my next period, whichever comes first..
Having a long day tomorrow.. Early in the morning I'd be collecting my visa from China Embassy, afterwards proceed to settle my banker's guarantee in UOB Plaza which I have to pass to MOE in exchange for approval letter.. Running around again tomorrow.. -_-'
Today I had to cancel two appointments due to the cramp! My body just didn't feel right. Be it standing, sitting, lying, crouching, the pain is just there!! It's been long since my last cramp I guess (or perhaps I depend on pills too much). Thanks to James' mom though for the hotbod that she just bought. It really helps relieving the pain.. I felt much better soon..
In case you're wondering what a hotbod is, it's a pillow filled up with wheat beans for therapeutic purpose. It can be used both cold and hot to relieve pain, headache etc. Just put it in the microwave for 30secs for hot effect and fridge for cold effect :) Nowadays it comes with different types of scent and shape.. The on that I'm using now is honeysuckle :)
Come to think about it, I should get one in Shanghai. It'd be useful for winter or my next period, whichever comes first..
Having a long day tomorrow.. Early in the morning I'd be collecting my visa from China Embassy, afterwards proceed to settle my banker's guarantee in UOB Plaza which I have to pass to MOE in exchange for approval letter.. Running around again tomorrow.. -_-'
Friday, August 19, 2005
Lethargic
Lately I have been in bad health condition. Perhaps it's the weather. Perhaps it's the stress. Perhaps it's the wine. Perhaps it's the sleeping habit. Definitely it's NOT the eating habit. I have been eating well and regularly, not on time though, but well I eat! I have my lunch and dinner ALWAYS!
I feel tired easily when I go out for long hours or stay out too late. I wonder why. I guess I'm getting OLDDDD.. I feel the difference when I was still in my teens and now that I'm in my 20-s. I made it sounds as if I'm reeeaaaalll OLLLDDD eh -_-'
I guess my Shanghai trip is stressing me out. Going to a new country with no friends/family at all. It kinda freaks me out esp. because I'm a girl. The pressure is there. The fear is there. The stress is there. I won't be able to relax until I'm there. And I know the first few months will be full of adventures for me. I'm feeling both excited and anxious..
I ask myself often if this is the right choice, if I made a correct decision. I have gone this far though. There's no way of turning back. I guess I have to make it a right choice even if it was not in the first place. No matter what, I have to gained the best out of it! This is what I'm telling myself, but well.. we shall see :p
Wish me the best k! I'd need all the luck, prayer, support etc here..
I feel tired easily when I go out for long hours or stay out too late. I wonder why. I guess I'm getting OLDDDD.. I feel the difference when I was still in my teens and now that I'm in my 20-s. I made it sounds as if I'm reeeaaaalll OLLLDDD eh -_-'
I guess my Shanghai trip is stressing me out. Going to a new country with no friends/family at all. It kinda freaks me out esp. because I'm a girl. The pressure is there. The fear is there. The stress is there. I won't be able to relax until I'm there. And I know the first few months will be full of adventures for me. I'm feeling both excited and anxious..
I ask myself often if this is the right choice, if I made a correct decision. I have gone this far though. There's no way of turning back. I guess I have to make it a right choice even if it was not in the first place. No matter what, I have to gained the best out of it! This is what I'm telling myself, but well.. we shall see :p
Wish me the best k! I'd need all the luck, prayer, support etc here..
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Independence Day
Today is my country's independence day and yet I FORGOT!! Ouchh.. I guess it can't be helped. It has been a while since the last time I actually celebrated it. Let me count.. hmmm.. 4 years? 5 years? Can't really remember. Oh well.. I'm really losing my identity.. NOOOOO!!!
I'm done with most of the administrations I need to do here. I hope there'd be no more unexpected to come. The medical check up was shocking enough, to think that China Embassy ONLY recognize medical check up from SGH! The extra cost was difficult to bear nor accept..
It's pretty confirmed that I'm leaving Singapore sometime around 25th August. So Andrew, let's meet up after you come back from Lampung! Yeah!!! We shall! We shall! Sonny was suggesting a KTV session.. What do you guys think? TYH, give idea! Anyway no more fancy food please. The hole in my pocket is bigger than Sonny's now that he had job offer. Hmm.. Let's make Sonny treats! Yay Yay!! :p
I'm done with most of the administrations I need to do here. I hope there'd be no more unexpected to come. The medical check up was shocking enough, to think that China Embassy ONLY recognize medical check up from SGH! The extra cost was difficult to bear nor accept..
It's pretty confirmed that I'm leaving Singapore sometime around 25th August. So Andrew, let's meet up after you come back from Lampung! Yeah!!! We shall! We shall! Sonny was suggesting a KTV session.. What do you guys think? TYH, give idea! Anyway no more fancy food please. The hole in my pocket is bigger than Sonny's now that he had job offer. Hmm.. Let's make Sonny treats! Yay Yay!! :p
Thursday, August 11, 2005
!#%$@^#$^!!
I had my visa application rejected this morning due to my medical check up! They ONLY recognize results from SGH! What kind of monopoly is this? What's wrong with other hospitals? Why only SGH?! Why is it not even stated in the website?!? Wasted my time, effort and money! #!%#^@$#^!#$^!!
Now I had no choice but to redo my medical check-up! *GrRrr.. TWO check-ups in THREE MONTHS!! I just calculated the expenses for my preparation for Shanghai and it costs me $3K already inc. air tix! I'm soooo discouraged now!! Perhaps I shouldn't go. Perhaps I should just stay here, find a nice apt to stay and get a job!
#!@%@#%^@$^@#! So pissed off!!
Anyway I gotta postpone my schedule now. I guess I can only leave around 25th then. Should have gotten myself a temp job.. Darn!! *pissed I'm soooo broke now...
Now I had no choice but to redo my medical check-up! *GrRrr.. TWO check-ups in THREE MONTHS!! I just calculated the expenses for my preparation for Shanghai and it costs me $3K already inc. air tix! I'm soooo discouraged now!! Perhaps I shouldn't go. Perhaps I should just stay here, find a nice apt to stay and get a job!
#!@%@#%^@$^@#! So pissed off!!
Anyway I gotta postpone my schedule now. I guess I can only leave around 25th then. Should have gotten myself a temp job.. Darn!! *pissed I'm soooo broke now...
Saturday, August 06, 2005
I MISSED EEE DINNER!!
Tell me it's not happening! Tell me it's postponed! Tell me there'd be a second round! Tell me anything but I missed it! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....
There goes the chance of seeing my graduate friends :( Well guess I have to wait for EEE yr 2005 reunion, if there's ever going to be one. Thus, someone out there, especially EEE Club, please start planning for the event!!! Danny, Andrew, work hard please :p
Anyway, I'm rotting here in Jakarta, passing each day by day without doing anything -_-" HELPPPPP!!! I can't wait to get out of this boring life and start my study in Shanghai AND return for work in Singapore. My graduate fellows, I envy you all so much that you could start building your career now and planning for your future.
Well thank to my books that I could still survive each day fulfillingly. I'm currently on the last few chapters on my current reading, How to Have a Beautiful Mind by Edward de Bono. Nice book, but kinda tasking. I can't wait to finish that book and proceed to my next book! In fact, I've been aiming for my next readings: Tipping Point by Malcom Galdwell and King of Torts by John Grisham.
Separation is inevitable. Ah Liang went to US for his holiday trip-cum-work in June and be back only in late September. Dave went back Canada earlier in July. Leslie, too, has left to HongKong early August for his own good. Jenson's leaving for US studies in mid August. Andrew is still in question.. Soon, it's my turn to leave Singapore for my Chinese studies. Everyone has his/her own path eh..
There goes the chance of seeing my graduate friends :( Well guess I have to wait for EEE yr 2005 reunion, if there's ever going to be one. Thus, someone out there, especially EEE Club, please start planning for the event!!! Danny, Andrew, work hard please :p
Anyway, I'm rotting here in Jakarta, passing each day by day without doing anything -_-" HELPPPPP!!! I can't wait to get out of this boring life and start my study in Shanghai AND return for work in Singapore. My graduate fellows, I envy you all so much that you could start building your career now and planning for your future.
Well thank to my books that I could still survive each day fulfillingly. I'm currently on the last few chapters on my current reading, How to Have a Beautiful Mind by Edward de Bono. Nice book, but kinda tasking. I can't wait to finish that book and proceed to my next book! In fact, I've been aiming for my next readings: Tipping Point by Malcom Galdwell and King of Torts by John Grisham.
Separation is inevitable. Ah Liang went to US for his holiday trip-cum-work in June and be back only in late September. Dave went back Canada earlier in July. Leslie, too, has left to HongKong early August for his own good. Jenson's leaving for US studies in mid August. Andrew is still in question.. Soon, it's my turn to leave Singapore for my Chinese studies. Everyone has his/her own path eh..
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Beyond the Beautiful Rainbow
Gazing at the sky at night,
I see a light, o' so bright.
Beyond the world above so far,
It's my Angel's glorious Star.
I watch the rise and fall of tides,
With an Angel's presense by my side.
I see her glitter, see her glow,
And I see her soul, slowly grow.
She's got a Brave and Beautiful Heart,
Caught my mind like a speeding dart.
With a Smile that's ever so sweet.
Frankly, she sweeps me off my feet.
Her Soulful eyes tell of countless tales,
Of all she braved, storms and gales.
And of feelings that lay so deep,
Thoughts that lingers, she rather keep.
Her Beauty can launch a thousand ships,
But yet her soul lies hurt and weak.
A forced smile is what I saw,
But in her Heart, the Teardrops fall.
If this is what they call Destiny,
Let it not last for Eternity.
Please don't play tricks oh dear Fate,
Show my Angel the Happiness gate.
In Life's journey, she slipped and fall,
But soon she's up, standing tall.
And Life's tough, it slowly get,
But I'll be there with her, step by step.
Angel, be Brave and be Bold,
As the Future slowly unfolds.
Beneath the dark clouds is a clear blue sky,
And that's where I believe, You'll eternally fly.
As an Angel, beyond the Beautiful Rainbow
Once upon a time, a kind-hearted lad wrote me this poem to cheer me up.
Back then, I was feeling sad and depressed being unable to let go of my past and move on with my life. Being a good listener, he listened to my troubles and gave me many encouraging advises. Often he sent me messages asking about my well-being, whether I'm feeling fine or have I taken my meal etc.
Looking back, I am really grateful to know such a wonderful lad. I sincerely thank him for those encouraging words, pasted and assembled nicely in a piece of paper. I also want to let him know that I am all happy now and have gotten my ticket to beyond the beautiful rainbow.
Thank you my dear friend..
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